Me, me, me, me, me
September 15th, 2006
Occasionally, once in a very long while, I will browse through a few random profiles on myspace. Myspace is a curious experiment; give folks a page to express who they are, and see what they do. Almost as often as I partake in such mindfartery, I feel uneasy thinking about the other activities I could be participating in, virtually all of them more likely to contribute to the betterment of myself and my fellow man.
So that leaves a scattering of moments in time where I come across some little bauble of myspace wonder and I think to myself: humanity can wait. I am amused by small things (as evidenced by the painful meanderings of this very post), so these may not strike the same note of joy in you as they did in me, but here they are:
Phyllis is 59, living in Napa County. Don’t let her age fool you, Phyllis is equipped with the most up-to-date pop culture vernacular (witness her sassy declaration that Trace Adkins is "so hot"). She has even taken a stab at creating her own trendy new phrase. She "cowlects" anything to do with cows. Thankfully, her page has been so overrun with typos and misspellings (the true sign of a natural born myspacer) it is actually conceivable this cur of a pun is a genuine mistake.
Browsing through the profiles of some of my fellow Bunker Hill students I found, "the only lzbn with food stamps in her money clip", a dignified lady from, "YOUR MOM, MASSACHUSETTS", and a woefully misinformed young lass who claimed she was "bringing sexy back". Judging by the girth of said lass, I can only surmise that sexy is hiding somewhere amidst the chins, stomachs, and flaps of her person. Dear Sexy, won’t you come out to play.
Disclaimer: I don’t hate any of these people. I write petty, self-indulgent blogs because I’m not sleepy and there is no way I’m going to be. And one girl wrote a letter to alcohol I thoroughly enjoyed. And I volunteer for deaf, retarded fat kids on weekends. And I only call them fat because they are too retarded to read this. Hey Gordon! Hey Sarah! Love you guys!
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2 Comments Add your own
1. Mark Stamas | September 15th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
Damn Devin, you’ve come a long way.
And you are right on.
Here I am typing English into a machine that displays the words as I write them responding to the mindless dribble of an equally bored visionary rube of a human looking for something witty and meaningful to say.
So you and I both reflect exactly what you describe.
Somehow I find that comforting and in that comfort realize that this is the reason so many of us are ready to pontificate.
This virtual crap sort of insulates us too, less risk, in a way, but I have always been a vocal opinionated shite anyway.
Lets just say I can type the same invective almost as fast as I can say it.
Good work brotherman.
Now be true to yourself.
2. gordon | September 15th, 2006 at 11:36 pm
i made a doodie.
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