Fit To Print

All I Want for Christmas

December 3rd, 2006

Sellout is such a wank word, I am always hesitant to use it. I’m just gonna file these under, “what the hell were you thinking?”

Lewis Black is starring in a PG christmas kids movie called Unaccompanied Minors. It contains an absolutely hilarious scene where Black (accompanied by airport security) trips over a suitcase trying to catch these zany but lovable kids. Later in the chase, he tells his minions the last one to follow the kids down a hill is a “fired apple”. You know, instead of rotten.

For Black, it was a pretty seamless transition from the Daily Show. All he had to do was remove the swearing and the funny from his act and hand it over to Warner Bros for this soon-to-be classic.

Perhaps some of you have heard of the hip hop artist Common. Well, if not, you will soon. He’s that nice little negro rapping the catchy new Gap jingle. The rap ends with a thought-provoking motto, “Peace, love and Gap”. If these ads are a hit, look for Common to kick off 2007 with a nation-wide promotional tour, accompanied by Wayne Brady and J.C. Watts.

Can’t think of the perfect christmas gift? Try giving your dignity or self-respect. Those are hot items this year.

Happy Holidays,
Ebenezer Scrooge

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