Well, I’ve Never Used a Phone Booth
February 25th, 2007
The other night I had a dream where this fat girl I went to high school with was in love with me. I was interested in someone else, so as punishment the fat girl sat on me until I couldn’t breathe. I woke up wheezing and I couldn’t breathe through my nose. It struck me that even when a fat person is feeling bad about herself and imagining the worst things people say behind her back, my dream probably doesn’t make the list. My dream is worse than a fat person’s own cynical imagination. Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
This may be my worst post ever, and not for lack of worthy candidates. Have a merry February.
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6 Comments Add your own
1. Mark Stamas | February 27th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Reeled me in. I am wondering though how you and I wound up posting on dreams without knowing the other was so doing?
No fat girls in mine. Not being able to breath through you nose is a symbol of your air being too dry and cold.
2. devin | February 28th, 2007 at 1:44 am
The title of this post was a reference to “I’m Fat” by Weird Al. Sometimes I’m really tempted to point out how sickeneningly awesome I am. Also, you’re still attaching your offeveryday link to your name on this site, not NHM. That would be like me using wired when I posted on your site. Please cease and desist.
3. Mark Stamas | March 2nd, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Hahahaha
Off Every Day is soon to be updated to an huge BUY NOW button.
That will be the entire site.
I will then market on 6 plasma screens in New York City’s finest salons, Dramatics NYC, and 20 thousand people per day will see the OED video, hit the site, and BUY NOW!
4. Mark Stamas | March 3rd, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Well I’ve never seen you post.
5. Mark Stamas | March 6th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Well I’ve never heard your phone call.
6. Mark Stamas | March 9th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Its all too much for me to take.
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