Fit To Print

I Heart Huckabees?

November 16th, 2007

Initially, I liked Mike Huckabee. He was a great American success story: poor boy makes it big, big boy gets slim. He didn’t believe in evolution, but at least he believed in talking like a human being. He’s the only Republican contender that has anywhere near the kind of personality and temperament I would want in a president. However, Huck has a fairly low ceiling of support among Republicans, despite boasting perhaps the best religious conservative bona-fides of the nominees. (He’s got prospects. He’s bona fide. What are you?)

His problem is that economic conservatives don’t like him. Because once or twice he didn’t veto a tax hike passed by the Democratic legislature in his state. Or something like that. And these are the guys in the party you really don’t want to mess with. The Club for Growth folk. These folks almost took down Arlen Specter in the 2004 Ohio primaries, despite the fact that Arlen had the support of the Prez and the RNC and he’s been a god damn senator since before I was born. So while theoretically Huck could win if Rudy and Mitt split the big states and he runs the table in the South, his best chance to make it on the Nov ballot is in the VP slot. He just has the wrong enemies.

But what Huck could do is make things real dicey for Mitt Romney. Giuliani is bypassing the first few primaries because he is above local politicking and that sort of thing. Thanks to millions and millions in ad buys, Mitt leads in Iowa and NH. But a recent Iowa poll shows Huckabee within two percent of Romney there. I have always felt that if Mitt takes the first two contests, Rudy’s national lead will evaporate and Romney can handily win the nomination. If Huck steals Mitt’s million dollar thunder, and/or Ron Paul does something similar in NH, Rudy’s strategy could pay off, because I don’t see Huckabee or Paul as nationally viable candidates. Almost as much as I would hate to endure the nightmare of a Giuliani nomination, I would hate to see some upstart redeem Rudy’s amazingly arrogant and idiotic campaign strategy. For past reference on skipping early states, ask Presidents Lieberman and Clark how well ignoring Iowa worked for them.

So the skinny of it is that some former fatty from Clinton’s hometown could be the Ralph Nader of 2008 and rough Mitt up enough to pave the way for a Giuliani victory. And Rudy won’t even put him on the ticket as a reward, because nice people make him sick to his stomach. As Naomi Watts would say, “Fuckabees”.

Entry Filed under: Politics